The outpouring of puffy flakes from a sky made orange by the street lamps was the last experience that took my breath away.  I saw the flakes drifting down slowly from my window and got into my snow clothes in a hurry.  Then I roamed around campus and watched, mesmerized, the trails of snow hanging in the air under the street lamps, then I danced gleefully under them. That night made it feel like winter again and renewed me to study for finals. 

Asking "why am I here?" one day sitting on a bench overlooking a calm lake made me realize that God has a reason for wanting me to be right here, right now, and that my life is just a process of figuring out my purpose and fulfilling it along the way.

1) What is your purpose? (25 words or less.) If you had to describe your calling in life, what would you say? What are you here to do? What gift is yours to give to the world?

I believe that all people share both the goal of discovering oneself and one's place and the responsibility to help others to do the same.

2) What do you love, and how do (or will) your actions demonstrate this? (250 words or less.) We at Gaia believe that following your heart is the best way to help the whole planet. What do you care about, and what do you most enjoy doing?

            Love is about relationships, and at this time in my life, I am discovering the most about my relationship to the natural world and to myself.  Spending time in nature, especially in northern Wisconsin where I live, and later writing about my experiences helps me to establish my place in nature and thus to learn more about myself.  The rolling hills through which I have wandered, the crisp fall air I've breathed, and the beach sands that have embraced me are all part of me and my experience, and I want them to remain part of the experiences of the children of generations to come.  I believe that in order to preserve the natural world, one must spend time in it to develop a love and respect for it and then take action to share these experiences so that others will join the effort.  Just as I read the work of other nature writers to help me better understand my own relationship to nature, I also write about what I have learned in the hopes that it will be helpful to others.  In order to share my experiences, I have submitted one of my essays for publication to a national undergraduate journal, The Allegheny Review as well as to my college's literary magazine.  Its environmental mission was why I chose to attend Northland College in the first place, and my education and major in writing there will continue to aid me on my journey of discovery of self and place.

3) Write your ideal job description. (250 words or less.) Forget about job titles like 'doctor' or 'artist' or 'lawyer.' If you could get paid just to live, how would you spend your time? What would you devote your life to? What would your days be like?

            Because making knowledge accessible to others is as important to me as sharing it in the first place, I start my day in my ideal job in a public library, answering patrons' questions, returning materials to the shelves, and cataloging.  Here I revel in the organization and enjoy the established order of things before venturing outside to cure my restlessness.  For a few hours after lunch, I assume the titles of explorer, treasure-hunter, wanderer, historian, collector, pilgrim, and bard, and spend time immersed in nature, renewing my soul and discovering the natural world around me.  I follow wherever my feet carry me, satisfying my curiosity with a search for new experiences as well as taking comfort in the familiarity of places well-explored.  This time provides me with writing material for journaling and formal writing in the evening.  After my free time, I run after-school programs, including some environmental education programs at local nature centers or state parks, as well as serve as a Girl Scout troop leader.  Since I learned that it's okay to be myself, no matter how silly, loud, or wild, through Girl Scouts when I was a scout and through working at a Girl Scout camp, I want to help all girls to learn this by continuing my involvement in the organization.  I want to use my example to help the girls and all the youth I work with to become confident and empowered through doing activities that will connect them to both nature and each other


I wanted to elaborate on why Girl Scouts is so important to me because I didn't have the space to do so before.  What I love about Girl Scouts is tradition and ritual, especially at camp, or the things that make camp different from any other day.  While at camp we do activities like canoeing or horseback riding, you can do that anywhere.  You can't however find things like campfire skits, all-camp games, and silly songs before meals on song porch anywhere.  These activities are about togetherness and support, which is what I find most appealing about the organization, but they're also about breaking down barriers that hold you back.  When I'm up leading a song and I see the girls that are so concerned about being cool that they have their arms crossed and aren't participating, I sing louder and get crazier because I want them to see that it's okay for them to be even sillier.  I think that girls today are under a lot of pressure from all sides and I think it's important for them to learn to let go.  Camp taught me that, and now that I've brought that silliness I used to have when I was a scout back into my personality, I'm a lot happier.

When giving time to volunteer efforts, it's most important to spend time on causes that you believe in, things that keep you from sleeping  at night and things that effect you personally to help you avoid compassion fatigue.  You have to find motivation from within.  It's also good to do a mix of local volunteering so you can see the impact you have on your community as well as larger causes at the national and international levels through organizations or whatever.  Because my great-grandmother was unhappy in the nursing home when she was alive, I volunteer to visit people like her.  I also help with the local food shelf because I can see the people in my area that I'm helping.  I support church charities and missionary efforts for my more general/less localized cause.  I also think that building cross-cultural understanding is really important, so I want to join the Peace Corps. someday.  Others interested in this might try a volun-tour, a vacation combined with service abroad.

As a Wisconsinite, winter means lots of snow (and I want it NOW, if the leaves are down) and pretty cold temps (but 0 and 10 below and 20 below are essentially the same, so bring it on).  It's about making the extra effort to get outside because the rewards are proportionately larger too.  Seeing the world slow when the snow falls (and when you have to because the roads are slippery) allows you to cultivate a sense of renewal and rebirth for the reminder of Christ's coming at Christmas and the coming new year.  Surviving Wisconsin winters is partly a way to cultivate an image of what I call a hearty Wisconsinite, a toughness, that others don't have.  It's partly about creating that sort of indivdiuality and also about those shared elements of the general experience of winter-- tag on ice-skates, biulding forts, sledding and snowball fights and cocoa and christmas cookies when you finally go back inside.  But then, all of life is about what's shared and what's unique. So.

A better question is what has happened that hasn't made me smile?  I'm always laughing about something, be it an inside joke with my family or one inside my head.  Girl Scout songs are especially smile-worthy lately.

The eternally idealistic but applicable (and true) idea that I can make this year better than the previous ones.  I haven't failed to do so when I've bought into this in the past, I just haven't ever tried hard enough. Behind this belief this year is renewed hope and trust in God and his promises.  Only His strength can help me make the change I want in my life.