I recently realized that I don't have to decide what I'm doing with the rest of my life or with the degree I'll eventually earn or any of that today.  It is so freeing to not feel like I haev to fix myself into something and pursue that and only that.  Instead, I can explore things that I like and am good at and find a way to combine them into a fulfilling life rather than a fulfilling job.  I don't usually like uncertainty, but I feel like I really can make what I want out of it, so I am content.

How to let go a little and stop worrying so much.  This is always a work in progress, but I don't want to be a person who has to live with lots of regrets.   I don't want to think back and say, "you know, I really should have.... when I had the chance".  I guess I have learned to spend my time actually doing what I want or at least discerning what I really want and enjoying it rather than worrying about everything that might not go just right if I did this or that.

I have a lot of great caring people in my life that are opening me to many possibilities for the future and introducing me to opportunities I never knew existed.  As a result, I am taking these opportunities to try out new things so I can discern what I want to do with my life.  I feel optimistic because I've found that there are ways to combine my passions and I don't have to choose only one area to pursue.  I used to wish that I wasn't so interested in or have some talent in so many areas because if I was only good at one thing the future path would be clear, but now I know that many of these areas can have a part in my life and my work.  Interests like writing, environmental education, working with children, and library science can be combined in jobs like archiving for nature centers or can exist together if I were to work in a library and lead an after-school Girl Scout program for example.  I know I probably won't be able to have it all, but it seems like I can get closer than I thought before. 

During my prayer time before bed I either do a Bible-study sort of reflection questions about different topics related to growing in faith or I just write about whatever's on my mind or bothering me in my journal.  I find that these activities help me to understand the root of the problems I may be hung up on.  It relieves the stress of not being able to put my finger on the issue if nothing else and often helps me find a solution.  Writing is a self-discovery process for me because I never know exactly what I will say until I write it and often by doing so I learn about myself and especially what's important to me and why. 

When I'm experiencing a very close connection to God, I also take a few moments in the morning to ask him to be with me through the day to guide me as a way to put myself in a positive mindset, and then I evaluate around lunch time to see how it's going as well as examine the day and how I've been close to God and how I could've been closer throughout the day.  And I thank Him for the day and for helping me throughout it.  It is a constant goal to get to this point in my relationship with Him, where I do this without having to think about it.

The truth.  A completely honest response.  Partially because I don't know how to ask in a way that would insure such an answer and partially because I'm afraid of what asking at all will reveal about me.